The Insanely Precious, Ordinary Moments of a Life

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Nine Weeks, Five Days

I understand that you were not strong enough to stay,
your body didn't come together quite right, your life was never "viable",
as the doctor would tell me. "Don't look too deep into it. Maybe
it didn't have the right number of chromosomes.
It was not viable".

What does viability matter to a mother?
As a female animal, I would have protected your life
with mine.
As a female animal, I attached myself to you
as your cells wove together in the secret darkness of my body.

I welcomed your presence, and offerered for your sustenance
everything within me.

It was the first time I knew what it is
to be a mother to something,
though you were invisible to me.

Now I see how the world can justify it's losses
while the mothers wipe away a faceful of tears
with the backs of their palms.